What is it, Sebastian--I'm arranging matches.

   Ok, so. I had been cooking up a way to summarize the last few days to explain my absence, but, as I knew I would, I have chickened out and decided not to lay it all out completely...at least not yet. I think that I need to put more time behind me before I can talk about it fully. And with that, I will just say that the last few days have been trying, but I got through. I got through because Meredith changed her profile picture to Noel Fielding wearing one of the kookiest outfits I've ever seen him in, and then I got a wave of nostalgia for England and decided to watch Nevermind the Buzzcocks. I then spent five hours watching series 24 interspersed with Graham Norton clips. And it felt good and right. On Wednesday I had the courage to watch "Vincent and the Doctor" which didn't make me cry as I thought it would. Rather, it made me feel empowered and miss England again, in a good way. Spent that afternoon watching Buzzcocks again. And again yesterday, before I actually started to get a bit sick of it.
   One thing I had been worried about is losing friendship(s). I feel sad cus most of my friends this summer are not in Kalamazoo, and I worried about the quality of some. I was wrong in my worry. Tuesday night I called Rachel for the first time since being home and we talked for an hour. I love that girl. She brings me around to such positive and optimistic views. She's always about having fun and thinking about the bright side of things. And she asks probing questions. I'm lucky to have her as a friend. She suggested we start a book club this summer--how cute and so plainly Rachel Fentin!
   On Wednesday I saw Chelsey for the first time since being home and before she goes off to Italy for most of the summer. We met at Applebees for lunch, and though I was bumming during a large portion of it, it was still good to see her and I am again amazed at her. I always use Chelsey as the example when people complain about money. I tell them about how she was not privileged growing up and about how hard she has worked and continues to work to get to where she is today. She is one of the most responsible people I know and I tear up at the standard she sets for our peers.
   I joined a gym. Mum has been going with a friend since January, and I wanted to get in on that as something healthy to do this summer to get me off my ass...and to get me off my ass. I have yet to be taken around to the weight machines, but I did a lot on the treadmill and elliptical. I came home (late and I'm sorry for that) to skype with Michelle and Niko. I had worried that my friendship with Michelle was somehow less since she got home, but I do understand that she's very busy. It wasn't until we skyped that I remembered the quality of our friendship, and of course, it's me, I cried at her and Niko, the latter of whom looks like such a California boy when he's in that setting. You can say duh, but I find it funny. It was great to have that dynamic back and to learn that Niko is planning a visit to Ann Arbor shortly after he settles in Chicago for law school (again, a friend to be proud of). More things to look forward to. MiShayShay, Nik Nik and E together again. Being able to type/text Nik Nik again made me happy. I have been in contact with others through facebook IM and skype as well and talking to them and catching up has been so nice and comforting and fun. I'm sorry that I overlooked my friendships and I am thankful, thankful, thankful that they are in my life and are there for me.

   I am also thankful for my family. Today was Mum's day off and she paid for lots of grooming--I got my hair chopped off! It was time for a change. And it feels refreshing. We did a bunch of errands and got Steve father's day pressies. And ate at Applebees and Starbucks. Mum says Steve must be flattered by me, because I was texting him to let him know where we were and I always tell him he's funny and cute. And late night skyping with Aunt Marilou and Uncle Jim, making inappropriate jokes. And my brother sending me the CUTEST picture of Violet practically crushing their new kitten Mars. Sometimes it ain't so bad.
   I lost my train of thought to sadness for a minute, but maybe it's best to end there. I talked about the good, which is what I wanted to do/focus on. Youtube has helped, friends have saved. Life is an emotional rollercoaster, whether you like it or not.