So, the last few weeks of the summer have not been short of minor drama blips that indicate bigger problems. I've had some disagreements with friends in which I've really tried to exhibit my decision to turn over a new leaf, meaning approaching these conflicts having thought through what I'm going to say, not just resorting to anger, basically being an adult. Has it worked? I don't know. I guess I feel a bit proud of myself for consciously making these steps but it's kind of left me feeling...sad or upset don't quite fit the bill. It's just that, in my opinion, if someone hurts one of their friends, even unintentionally, and they can come around to at least understanding where said friend is coming from even if they still don't see eye to eye, the offender should apologize. After all, they've hurt their friend's feelings. But alas, that isn't the case. And that sort of irks me. I mean, that's really all I can say. How hard is it to just say "I'm sorry"? Too hard, apparently.
Events as of late in my life have made it hard for me to trust people. I always feel better knowing I have at least one solid friend whom I can go to should I need to in a dire situation. It's difficult because sometimes I feel like I can only tell certain people certain things, and some people I feel like I've lost the ability to be honest with almost completely. And I'm talking about people who I've considered my good friends. Even things coming from the most innocent of places can be misconstrued in a bad way, and I find it sad to know that some people don't exactly have my back.
Bear with me being a little bit down on my life. I want to blame it on coming back home. No place is a complete fix, unfortunately. I want to just fast forward two years and have everything just a little more together. Anyway. I've been babysitting the past three days and that's been kind of a fun distraction. Today I taught Sean that if you salted a slug, it essentially melts and dies. Felt horrible but as his mum says, he's ten and thinks all that stuff is really interesting. Discovered I still got the basic volleyball skills, same shitty basketball skills, am a "city girl" cus bugs creep me out, and got made fun of for calling everything adorable. I was only there for two hours today and the rest of the day was kind of a rollercoaster. I didn't feel well for a lot of the day and then had the added anxiety of having only two weeks in which to schedule my tooth implant procedure. The first available date was on my birthday and there was no way in hell I was messing with that, so I'm getting the implant in on the 30th. It got more complicated because they need to do a post-op check-up about a week after, but I will be moving three days after the procedure! So, ended up having to schedule it for two weeks after, on a Tuesday (he's only available Tues, Wed, and Thurs), late afternoon. Going to have to skip maybe half an hour of class for Mum to come to A2 to pick me up, get home, appointment, then take 9:30 train back to Ann Arbor that night. Kind of messy.
But the day had an almost immediate turn for the better as my King's housing deposit was finally processed and I am rich! Haha. I have to give Mum some money and then I have other ideas on how to spend it but other than that, it just made me relieved in general. Then I finished Community and organized a lot of shit in my room and made curry. I am tired from getting up early this morning and have to get up early tomorrow morning as well. I am not feeling particularly optimistic at this point in time, so I'm not going to talk everything up. Life goes on as it always does, dragging me with it whether I like it or not and eventually (I guess talking it up a bit) I will feel better. It's only inevitable.
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